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Today for lunch I had a peanut butter and banana sandwich on sugar free wheat bread, with a cup of 2% milk. (And no, I did not fry the sandwich in a pan of butter..) This was an okay meal, really. It’s filling, it tastes decent, and health wise it’s a much better choice than I typically make.

I’m trying to eat healthier now. I need to lose a bunch of weight for health reasons. I also want to lose weight for vanity reasons, I won’t lie. But now that my health is being affected by my weight, I’m more inspired to do something. (And no, I don’t have diabetes or high blood pressure or any of the standard things docs say you will get if you are overweight. There’s apparently some correlation between fat cells and estrogen levels, and I’m one of those lucky women whose body actually had adverse reactions to estrogen, so…)

But I hate the term “dieting.” Dieting implies that you are restricting yourself from certain things. And I am most definitely the type of person who craves food more when you tell me I can’t have it. (Except for honey. I’m allergic to it, so I choose life.)

I do like to say that I am trying to “eat healthier.” Mostly because this means I can still have the horrible, junky foods that I love, only occasionally, and ideally in smaller portions. It means that I try to eat more “good” foods throughout the day, so that if I do grab a snack to quell a chocolate craving, I will only eat, say, a handful of M&Ms instead of the whole bag.

My biggest challenge, I think, is that I have low blood sugar. Add to that the fact that I don’t always remember to eat right (example: today I woke up at 5am, I didn’t eat anything until 10am, whoops), and I crash quite often. Little Debbie has become my friend over the years. If my sugar bottoms out, I just scarf down a couple of snack cakes. But with their high sugar content also comes high fat content. So I need to figure out something better.

I know I can do this; last year over about 8 months I lost 30 pounds. But then I quit smoking, and gained it all back over the next three months. I ended up smoking again anyways :/