50 shades, 50 shades abuse, 50shades abuse, 50shades of Theft, abuse, domestic abuse, domestive violence
Here’s a post with a fun new link to check out, as well as an update on the Fifty Shades Darker/50shades Pilfered project, depression, and how much some people suck.
The sporknalysis of Fifty Shades of Grey was recently brought to my attention. I checked it out, it looks promising, and I can’t wait until I get the chance to sit down and read the whole thing. So far I’ve only gotten to read that one page. Hey, I’m a busy lady…
But when I read that page, I had to comment on the statement about 50 shades being an original fic, even if it was a fan fic. By now, you guys know that’s a big sticking point for me. But soon after, gehayi commented back and informed me that their opinion had been changed only a few short chapters in, so I felt better. And now I really want the chance to start reading all of this, because by all accounts it’s awesome.
Also, gehayi asked if I was The Kody, à la ELJ twitter blockage fame. Now, I know I’m far from being the only person blocked by ELJ, but I thought it was kind of cool (strange, but cool) that a random person on the internet knew who I was. So of course, my internet celebrity status went to my head, and I didn’t get a damned thing done for the rest of the day.
Okay, not really. Like I said, I’m a busy lady. And if I don’t at least feed my kids, they get vicious.
Now, the update on 50shades Pilfered. I said I would do it, and I will. Just not right now. I have to have a break from that story. Bug and I have been trying to amp ourselves up to get started on it, and so far neither of us has even managed to buy the thing. And to be serious, not even joking here, Fifty Shades of Grey managed to trigger a depressive episode.
I thought about the possibility of suing ELJ for pain and suffering, or mental anguish, or something like that, but there’s too much internet evidence out there showing that I had a good idea of what I was getting into before I started reading 50shades. Still, I really didn’t think it was going to bother me as much as it did.
It doesn’t help that a wet, rainy winter had been holding over, and Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing, people. It doesn’t help that my computer was broken down for most of March (thankfully fixed now), and while I could still stay on the blog and social media, I couldn’t run the software needed to do my paid work, and as a result the check I got at the beginning of this month was $35. It doesn’t help that my health has been an issue lately, and I’ve been physically feeling like shit. It doesn’t help that the general stress and franticness of my life suddenly seemed overwhelming. It doesn’t help that I’ve been known, in the past, to just randomly slip into a depressive episode with no noticeable warning or cause.
But do you know what really hurt? Realizing how many people out there have so totally bought into this 50shades bullshit that they will defend it no matter what. Feeling the futility, that no matter what we say, or show, or what examples we CITE DIRECTLY FROM THESE BOOKS, people who love and defend 50shades will never, ever listen, and will always say that we’re full of shit, and that we’re just making things up, or that we just need to get over it.
Case in point: in book three, there’s a point where Ana wants to go out for drinks with Kate. Grey is out of town. She calls him to make sure it’s okay (which pisses me off already). He tells her no, he wants her to go straight home. She ends up spending an hour or so with Kate anyways. The next day she wakes up to discover that he’d come home (you know, to make sure she wasn’t hanging with any werewolves …. sorry, couldn’t resist). She asks if he’s mad at her, he says that he “wants to beat the shit out of” her. Notice the quotation marks. He actually says that to her, in the book. He wants to beat the shit out of her because she didn’t do exactly what he told her to do.
Now, some Greysessed idiots will say, “Oh it was just because Jack Hyde was stalking her and he loves her so much and was so worried and wanted her to be safe and blah blah blah.” OR “As her Dom he just wanted to punish her for her disobedience because you just don’t understand BDSM.” BULLSHIT! Here’s why: 1) If Grey loved Ana, he would have had the cops called long ago to have Hyde arrested, but Grey’s more concerned with protecting his and his family’s reputations than he is concerned with protecting her life. 2) Hyde was at the apartment, so if Grey loved Ana, he would have been glad that she hadn’t been home when Hyde tried to break in. 3) In case you missed it, by this point, Grey and Ana had made the mutual decision that their relationship was no longer D/s.
So, again, Grey wants to beat the shit out of his wife because she defied his explicit commands, and he tells her as much. Guys, that’s domestic abuse. Even if he doesn’t do it, just the threat of doing it is an attempt to control her with fear. Domestic abuse.
All of that leads up to this: a few weekends ago, there was some twitter conversation going on, I think @EmmaTofi and @50Shadesabuse were part of it. Maybe others, I can’t really recall. And I don’t remember the name of the person defending 50shades, but damn she pissed me off.
Her argument was that everyone tempers what we say, how we act, because we are always scared that we’re going to make someone mad. Back and forth, back and forth. Then she asks, “so you’ve never been scared to make someone mad?” And I replied “No, I’ve never been an hour late coming home, and been scared that my husband would want to beat me.”
So then she sends this ranty, “NO ONE SAID THAT” with some hashtags like “extemeexamples” “notprovingyourpoint” or so. Does anyone remember that? Anyone save it, have a link to it..? So should I deduce that she hasn’t read the book? She’s defending 50shades and hasn’t even read it?
Well, I replied, “No, seriously, that’s in the third book.” No reply, nothing further, I’m assuming she blocked me. That happens a lot when you debunk their false idols, apparently…
This is the shit that is depressing me. That people are defending this and either haven’t even read it, or completely blocked it out as they were reading it. That’s scary, guys. People read this and it doesn’t fucking occur to them that a husband wanting to beat the shit out of his wife because she came home late is a PROBLEM. Jesus Christ, imagine what he would do to her if she shook a man’s hand!
And you just can’t engage with these people, because they offer the same argument over and over and over, and when you give them evidence FROM THE BOOK proving them wrong, they stop talking to you completely.
I don’t even want to care about it anymore, because it’s just so futile, and that is really depressing.
Alys B. Cohen said:
I was just talking to someone about the movies since we’re in Vancouver and there’s rumbling about on-location filming (which means things around here will suck for a while), and he said that is this exact same trilogy came out with a man’s name as the author, that it wouldn’t be seen as a romance, even if the abusive elements were scaled back. I hadn’t thought about before, but he’s right. That’s a good sign for what this book is. Men have written romances before that were accepted as romances, but this tripe never would be. If it came out that Erica’s husband was the real writer, fans would drop off. Fewer people would feel comfortable with a man writing about a woman being treated how Christian treats Ana.
I’ve been a bit AWOL from Twitter. You know I’m having surgery, and this was scheduled on top of my already-scheduled work load, so I’m having to get ahead. This means all-nighters spent working instead of writing, Tweeting, blogging, anything else. This is the first time in almost a week I’ve picked up my computer. It’s been quick Tweets when in the bathroom, or at red lights, or doing something else where I can’t work. I’m so burned out.
I have an uncomfortable feeling that things in the Shadesverse is about to explode. Something major is about to be announced, or at least happen, such as Ana and Christian being cast. When I get these feelings, they’re very rarely wrong. Something is about to happen.
Yeah I’d noticed you’ve been Internet MIA, but you have your plate kind of full right now.. Good luck getting everything done! And make sure you give yourself some time to rest before you have the surgery.
I wouldn’t be surprised if casting happens soon. That’s gonna be just horrible…
I only read the first book and never went further. The writing was shit and what I took from it was Ana was scared shitless by this man. The only reason this is even flying as romance is because Christian Grey is described as gorgeous, breathtaking, deliciously smelling, dazzling, and whatever other phrases she ripped off from Meyer. Any other dude would be totally labeled a sadistic, perverted, asshole.
It makes me so angry and at the same time sad that any self respecting woman would be ok with being treated the way Ana is and like I said I only read the first book.
If any friend of mine came to me and told me about this great guy she met and described Grey, I’d tell her to run as fast as she can.
I am still appalled they are making this into a movie. And I honestly cannot believe that Stephenie Meyer isn’t saying a word. I want to know how ELJ lives with herself knowing she’s making millions off of characters created by someone else and knowing she’s fucking up a whole generation of young ladies by letting them think that this is how they should want to be treated in and out of the bedroom.
ok rant over. that felt good.
Laura (@LauraQofU) said:
I’ve thought about a lot and I think the reason Meyer hasn’t sued the pants off that idiot James is because she wants no connection between her books and this trash. I know a lot of people hate the Twilight books, and I understand why, but I love them, and I’d hate for anyone to write off Twilight because of the trash that is 50 Shades.
That is a good point. I also loved the Twilight books. 🙂
Laura (@LauraQofU) said:
I am so blessedly happy that no one I know IRL likes these books. I have a handful of friends who got through the first book and were so disgusted by the blatant abuse and absolute crap writing that they could go no further. We will not be seeing any movie,though I feel pretty sure that a movie producer could turn this into a better story, that they will create a version of this in which Christian is not an abusive dickwad.
While I really enjoy your posts showing the blatant theft from Twilight, I certainly don’t think it’s worth it if it’s going to trigger depression for you. I think James has done enough damage, she doesn’t need to go ruining your life…
I used to try with people on goodreads (Mary in particular is a stubborn, stubborn bitch who thinks her world view is THE world view. I generalised, I gave her my own experiences and how they differed from what I read, what I was saying and what she was saying, but no, apparently she just projected on me and said I was the one making it apply to my own experiences.) but there’s just no point. As much as I hate being a part of the problem, with women like that, I wish they’d have a taste of what actually happens in these books so they can STFU.
Know what’s laughable though? I lost my V-card at 21. I’m not saying I was naive, but I had a strong idea that sex was about a mutual thing between partners, not a competition (and I grew up in a town where 12 year-olds losing the V-card is the norm) so more than most, I should be able to relate to someone like Ana. And yet no, because I have a fucking brain.
I check your blog every day. For my own sanity, please start posting regularly again!! 🙂 I hope everything’s all right!
Hi, thanks for checking in on me! 🙂 All is relatively well, just had to take a break after the dark journey that was 50shades. I’ll be posting some new stuff soon, possibly even some of 50shades Derper.