My body: Hey, so I know it’s been a pretty rough week…
Body: Yeah. Sorry about that whole kidney infection thing, just, ya know sometimes things get out of whack, not much we can do about it. Right?
Body: And thanks for laying off the caffiene and all that to help the kidneys clear out the infection. That was super cool of you.
Body: So… sorry about the back pains from the kidney. Oh, yeah, and the caffiene withdrawal headaches. I know, my bad.
Body: But guess what?!
Body: I’ve got a surprise! Just the thing!
Me: please don’t
Body: Here! You get to start your period a whole two days early. Pretty cool, right?
Me: …..my back still hur-
Body: HORMONE SHIFT, TIME TO START CLEANING THE HOUSE!